Which mask are you wearing?

As a 45 year old queer woman, who really only "came out" as they say just over 2 years ago, I am still finding my feet and my place in the world. Learning how to show up without wearing a mask and hiding behind it.

I was brought up in the world where to be "normal" was to be heterosexual, the only way to become a mother was to find a man to marry him and have his babies ... I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I was brought up by a single mother and every other weekend with my father. I didn't ever want that for my children, so I desperately hung on to my marriage no matter how lost I felt.

I look back now at my growing up years and I see all the signs that my love for another was not bound by the parameters my parents and society had taught me. As a young person desperately seeking to fit in, I buried all my feelings and desires deep down inside me. Back then you were either normal or you were Gay / Lesbian, which were a minority and a marginalised group of humans. There was no LGBTQIA+ and acceptance was limited within the circles I grew-up in. It wasn't until I went to uni that I actually met people who identified as Gay or Lesbian, but they were the minority. I continued to wear my mask and blindly followed the path I believed I was destined to follow.

My children thankfully are growing up in a world of acceptance and much more diversity (mostly), at least here in our home-town. My girls as they entered highschool and their teenage years, they began to explore who they are and have taught me so much as I supported them along their life-journey.

It was over a year after I separated from my ex-husband that I started dating again, at first I clung to the mask I had worn for so long and sought comfort in the arms of men. But the universe gifted me a journey with a beautiful unique man, who opened my eyes to so much more than I had ever known or experienced. It was through his encouragement and caring support I started to take off the mask and re-discover my desires as a sexual being.

As I went on this new self-discovery journey I did date another woman, behind closed doors so to speak. But then I met my darling wife to be, Toni. Our connection was immediate and it was deep, I didn't want to hide behind closed doors anymore and I wanted to be able to step out in public with the woman whom I am madly, deeply in love with and so it was this love that inspired me to "come out" as they say.

My coming out was an interesting journey in itself, I don't identify as a Lesbian, this label doesn't feel right to me. When asked I would simply say, I am still ME, and I am simply in love with a woman. I sat in a space of questioning, and still not 100% sure where I feel most aligned. I am still not sure if I would say I am Bi-Sexual or Pansexual (and yes, there is a difference), I am however comfortable with Queer or Gay. Nor do I feel it really matters what label I choose, for the more I embrace my unique magic I bring the world, the more I know I am ME. I am so, so grateful for the deep love and connection I have found with my partner in love and in life. With Toni I feel completely accepted as my whole self.

I wanted to share this little story with you, as I now choose to take off the masks and step fully into being authentically and unapologetically me!

I love working with women who are ready to take off the masks they are wearing, whether it is in their relationships, the clothes they wear, their work, at home or any part of their life. Women who are feeling called to step fully into their power, own their unique magic and shine brightly.

If you are ready to step out brightly and boldly, and would like support to do this I would love to invite you to join my upcoming Free Online Sacred Circle on Sunday 28th December 2025. This Sacred Circle is the perfect opportunity to connect with the energy you want to bring into 2026 and into your life. For more information and registration please click here. Or if you would like to know more about working with me, please email me: peta@dragonflymagic.com.au.